Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
