Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize