think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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