Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
