Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
