It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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