you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize