remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
