just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
