Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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