I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
