I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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