I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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