one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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