I just cut my nipple shaving
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
