May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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