Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
