fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
