is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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