these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
