you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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