I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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