apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize