Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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