ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
