It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I AM VODKA MAN
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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