Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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