I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
