Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
