K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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