Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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