Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
