dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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