I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
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