the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
