maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
