I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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