the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
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My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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