like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize