guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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