Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
