What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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