I'm gonna have a badass scar
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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