Porn is love you can see.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Randomize
