what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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