i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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