nut hugger
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it was like eating out sand paper
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
