i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
