a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
