I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize