the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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