Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
