This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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