the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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