he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
