Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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