i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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