I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
