evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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