you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
