is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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