I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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