We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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