bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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