you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
