How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
